Here...now....

Its ironic how one of the most hilarious movies I have watched can make me write a post of this sort, the nature of things around you sometimes makes you perceive things in a context that goes either completely with or against them, or perhaps it is true that coincidences happen to be the most inherent part of our lives, something, someone always makes those things happen that make you wanna smile to yourself when no one’s looking and go ‘No one can really understand that’.
Coming back to the movie, ‘Outsourced’ as it was called is based on the increasing trend of BPOs in the country, which has reached an extent of having penetrated villages and redefined the basis of its functioning, with minimum resources and man power, anyway all this is more history now. I would love to review this movie, but I guess I’ll leave that for later, movies can wait!
Three long years in a city, life, freedom redefined, it has been a quest, of wanting to learn, to grow while still surviving each day, it continues in a way except when I decide to look back. To all the things and times I detested, to all those people who seemed to be no more than a farce of existence around me, so different from ‘home’, though home is something I have never really been able to define, a lil sense of belonging is all it takes, anything beyond is only for the dreams. Life moved, one step at a time, the periods of stagnation being the longest, seeming so at least, things changed, gradually, then rapidly from time being a boulder needing clearing to it turning into the rarest of those commodities.
It was only a few years until I am back at the threshold, time zooping past closer to it, looking back into an abyss, with no memory of where it all began, with no signs of being able to trace the end. Change has been a constant, perhaps the only thing that was/ is, times went past, people, places, homes…houses rather…relationships built, broken, lingering, straining, to newer ones, snapped, scraped. Maybe they mattered, maybe they do, the moments hold, memory fails to deceive you.
The utter eventfulness of the past year, thinking about it can drive me into madness, of how rapid events, pitfalls, rewards, brought things to what they are today, a perfect jigsaw, a complete picture, yet visibly separable at the borders.
I wish sometimes, to prize apart every one of them, in the order to trace things back, reverse a few, perhaps not.
Everything is relative, there aint nothing greater or smaller without that, just how you never realize how far ahead you have moved until you look back at someone/ something you left behind.
Learnings of the city, of times, of people found, people lost and a rare few found again, above all myself, its been a journey of odds, its now time for realization, for once looking around and not behind, for once at the ones who stayed and not those who left, for all that which fills my treasure box every single day making it deeper and deeper.
Time is a factor, so is a place, circumstances, events, coincidental, people a result of all put together, living, loving, leaving you with lil moments all along.
What lies ahead, and what behind, the spaces I fill, the vacuum I still create, doesn’t seem to matter. Wishing for nothing more than I have now, for no one to fill the gaps left, for all those who are around, I wake up each morning wanting to live the day. Could there be anything/ anywhere better?